Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
