i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
