I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
