Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sarcasm needs its own font
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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