you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
