She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
