I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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