please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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