Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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