if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
