she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
