So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she looked like the before picture.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
