They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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