I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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