i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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