think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize