i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
