what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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