i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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