Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
