he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Even my vagina gasped.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
