girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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