she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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