do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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