Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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