Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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