I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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