Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
