put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
