i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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