we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
