this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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