singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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