he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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