I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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