awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
