she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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