Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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