There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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