guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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