I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
