its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
