The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
