Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
