He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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