Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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