Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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