I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
