i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
