another moral hangover. fuck.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
