sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
