Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
