That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
