not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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