we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
