We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
