U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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