All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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