That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
