You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
