This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
