got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
