Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
