Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
