Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
