i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
